| Understanding
Domestic Abuse
Through domestic violence, an abuser establishes power and control over
another person. Such behavior occurs when the abuser feels entitled to
control his victim.
Acts of such violence generally fall into one or more of the following
categories:
| • |
Physical battering. The abuser's attacks
can range from bruising to murder. |
| • |
Sexual abuse. Physical attack by the abuser
is often accompanied by, or culminates in, sexual violence, with
the victim forced to have sexual intercourse with the abuser or
take part in unwanted sexual activity. |
| • |
Psychological battering. The abuser's
psychological or mental violence can include constant verbal abuse;
harassment; excessive possessiveness, such as monitoring the victim's
activities; isolating the victim from friends and family, deprivation
of physical and economic resources; and destruction of personal
property. The abuser may also threaten to abandon the victim or
threaten to harm or take the children. |
Domestic abuse often begins with behaviors such as threats, name calling,
violence in the victim's presence (such as punching a fist through a wall)
and/or damage to objects or pets. It may escalate to restraining, pushing,
slapping and/or pinching -- and, ultimately, punching, kicking and sexual
assault. It may even become life-threatening, with serious behaviors such
as choking, breaking bones or weapon use.
Abuse checklist
Study the following questions. Think about how you're being treated and
how you feel. Remember, it's abuse when one person scares, hurts or continually
puts down the other person.
Does your partner:
| • |
Embarrass or make fun of you in front of your
friends or family? |
| • |
Make you feel like you can't make decisions?
|
| • |
Use intimidation or threats to gain compliance?
|
| • |
Tell you that you're nothing without him or
her? |
| • |
Treat you roughly -- grab, push, pinch, shove
or hit you? |
| • |
Call you several times a night or show up to
make sure you're where you said you'd be? |
| • |
Use drugs or alcohol as an excuse for saying
hurtful things or abusing you? |
| • |
Blame you for how he or she feels or acts? |
| • |
Pressure you sexually for things you aren't
ready to do? |
| • |
Make you feel like there's no way out of the
relationship? |
| • |
Prevent you from doing things you want, such
as spending time with your friends or family? |
| • |
Try to keep you from leaving after a fight or
leave you somewhere after a fight to teach you a lesson? |
If any of these are happening in your relationship, seek help immediately.
For more information, visit the Domestic
Abuse Project Web site. If your life is in danger, call the police
or 911.
Copyright 2002 Health
Ink and Vitality Communications, 1245 N. Church St., Moorestown, NJ,
08057, 1-800-524-1176
Publication: Vitality magazine
Publication Date: October 2002
Source: Domestic Abuse Project
Online Editor: Dianna Sinovic
Online Medical Reviewer: Cynthia Godsey, M.S.N., F.N.P./C., Gordon Lambert,
M.D.
Date Last Modified: 2/10/03 |
